It's Amazing how fast things go , Redwan is ready for the next step , regretfully at a lower level than we had hoped .. he also will have to start in an "mixed handicapped " class , cause it seems to be the rule that every school needs to re-asses
It was very confronting to be at his next school , not only "regular children " there but also Down syndrome and others .. No matter how much the director of the school says " we only take children which we think can be educated and stream into "regular education in the future " , it is still hard to accept Redwan is "one of the special kids "
I also catch myself being jealous more often, when i hear a parent chatting along with his preschooler or when i see them playing together in an "age appropriate " way ..

Tomorrow our third evaluation at Redwan's daycare ...
It is amazing how much he has developed over the last months , nowadays he is often interested in what the other kids do , not yet to the level of real interaction but the first step before interacting , for kids like Redwan , is to acknowledge that the other kids are a part of your universe ..
The teachers are realy motivated , his main teacher is actually way surpassing me in Pivotal Response Theraphy , and that with just a couple of trainings ..

Another Poem

Ja, Ja, Mooi hoor
Zo’n nachtegaal
Warme zomernacht
Rozengeur
Maneschijn ..

God geeft me de kracht
Dezelfde schoonheid te horen

In het gekras van een kraai
Die op een koude wintermorgen
De ogen pikt uit het karkas
Van een doodgereden kat ....


Yes,Yes, really pretty
A Nightingale
Warm summer night
Smell of roses
Light of the Moon

God give me the power
To hear the same beauty

In the caw of a crow
On a winter morning
Pecking the eyes out of the corpse
Of a road killed cat

Poem in Two languages / gedicht in twee talen

Ik heb mijn vleugels jaren her verbrand
Maar aangezien ik niet dicht genoeg bij het vuur durfde
Om meer dan die ragfijne vleugels te verbranden
Ben ik nog steeds met dit lichaam behept..
Minder nog dan een rups ,
Ontdaan van de mogelijkheid een mot te worden
Kruipt dit mismaakte lichaam
Naar de tafelpoot van de tafel
waar de kaars op staat
met een vage hoop
dat de jeuk op mijn rug de groei van nieuwe vleugels
zal aan kondigen
en geen op de vloer opgedane schurft is .


I burned my wings years ago
But since I did not dare to go close enough to the fire
To burn more than those gossamer wings
I’m still stuck with this body
Even less I am than a grub
Stripped of the potentiality to become a moth
This deformed body crawls
To the leg of the table
The candle stands on.
With a vague hope
the itch on my back heralds
the growth of new wings
and isn’t scabies ,caught on the floor …

Has been a while ..
This week Redwan is finally starting school
maybe after that i will be able to blog about other things
....

Finally , Redwan is going to go into daycare .. There is a place for him in a "MKD" which is a center for kids who have "mental problems" without being retarded ..
I will miss having him around , but also apriciate the fact we will finally get some time for ourselves ..

Yesterday i was (again )confronted with the strange universe Redwan lives in . Biking to the center for Autism we had to cross several roads .. Waiting at traffic lights was only o.k. when there was a switch pole there ( have no idea of the English name ) where the biker can request green light ..
If we where at one of the points where one just has to wait for green Redwan got very angry ..